I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Why would I want to sabotage my mentor?” This post is going to be #realtalk. I’m calling myself out. I’ve done all this. And thank you, Jesus, I’m not going to sabotage my mentor anymore! Keep reading to see if you’re sabotaging your mentor! 
Delay in finding a mentor
You know everyone tells you to find a mentor. You’ve read all the high-powered CEO turned authors write about all that they’ve learned from their mentors. Why do all these successful people talk about mentors? Because they understand the power of having a guide to model themselves after. They’ve experienced the frustration of trying to figure out their own way. They really mean it when they say “don’t try to re-invent the wheel” because they tried, spent a lot of money, had a lot of frustration, maybe even sacrificed some relationships, and STILL FAILED.
Maybe you’re one of the lucky few that instinctively understood the value of a mentor. You always sought out someone to show you the way. Or mentors have always just shown up for you and guided you along the right path.
Not me! I guess my rebelliousness and anti-authoritarian streak were blocking the universe from sending me mentors. You know, “when the student is ready, the teacher will come”? That thing? So get yourself ready, and go ahead and find yourself a mentor!!
Don’t believe your mentor
Have you been in those groups where there’s that one or two voices, they’re ALWAYS COMPLAINING that this isn’t right, or the leader is making a mistake, or they would do it another way, or they’re so upset they have to CALL IT LIKE IT IS. Their comments: “Oh, the mentor is wrong.”, “That marketing technique is so 1990!” They are always mocking and tearing down and undermining whoever the leader is. Have you seen those people? Be honest now: are you one of those people??
If you don’t agree with your mentor, or you have moral objections with what your mentor says, then just leave. You and that mentor were not matched in mentor-heaven. Just cut your losses and get out. Staying in that relationship will wear you out and wear out your mentor and may derail others in their progress. But if you are going to stay, be humble enough to learn from someone else, and maybe figure out what you were doing wrong that kept you a failure, and what made your mentor a success.
Only SAY you believe your mentor
I love reading. I love hearing people talk about how they overcame their tragedy or crisis and made something amazing come out of their hardship. It’s like all the sports movies that have the 3-minute training montage – Rocky or the Jamaican bobsled team or Luke Skywalker – they’re sweating it out in the gym, under the burning sun, lifting heavy weights, running, jumping, punching, lifting, running, jumping, puking, sweating, lifting – you know, that whole 3 minutes. The reality is they do that for hours every day! Day in, day out, hours and hours, no glamorous lighting, no artistic camera angles, no stylistic edits, or re-takes. It takes years of hard work to become a champion. But the movie is only 2 hours long and watching someone do reps for 1.5 hours is boring.
When you’re in your mentoring program, and you sit through all the videos and read the required whatever, but you stop there, you’re only giving mental assent to your mentor and his methods. You’re only SAYING that you believe your mentor. You have to go all-in, you have to do the hard work, you have to do the heavy lifting, you have to come back day after day after day. You actually have to WORK the process that he’s teaching you. So don’t just say you believe your mentor, actually put his methods to the test and do the work!
Try to outthink your mentor
Hopefully, you picked a good mentor, and that mentor will be confident enough to be able to share what he’s done and how he’s succeeded, with you. He won’t hold back. Your mentor is going to have a system for you to follow. All the years of his experience, he is going to pour into … YOU! So you better be ready to do. If he says, “Call ABC company, get XYZ software, and do 123.”, just do it!
Don’t think to yourself: “Well, (I don’t have as much experience, but…) I think software GHI can do just as well as XYZ, and my cousin Bob (who is less successful than me) can get it for me at a discount from ABCME company. And then I can figure out my own way of accomplishing 123…”
Come on now. You were smart enough to find yourself this mentor. And you were lucky enough that he actually took you under his wing. It’s time to humble yourself and just DO the thing your mentor is asking you to do. You are learning HIS system, his way, his years of experience, distilled down into this one process. Just follow along and do it HIS WAY.
Let the rebellion continue to foment
Good for you! You’re well on your way in your mentoring program. You’ve followed through with your training and gotten some preliminary groundwork established. But HOLD ON!! What’s this? Your mentor is asking you to do something that makes you UNCOMFORTABLE? Is your mentor trying to PUSH YOU past your limits??? “This isn’t what I signed up for!!”
Well, actually, you did. That’s exactly what you signed up for. You signed up for your mentor to take you through the minefield of whatever thing you wanted to accomplish, and now you’ve come up against a challenge that (now, be honest) scares you.
Maybe you want to lose 20 pounds and got yourself a coach. You start walking three times a week, drinking more water, eating a little salad with each meal. But now, your coach says NO BREAD FOR 4 WEEKS!!!! And your brain, your body, your hormones, every fiber of your being – are all screaming in fear and rage and resistance! “NO, I WON’T GIVE UP BREAD!!!!”
#realtalk again. This whole post is about me, but this is my current hurdle, and it’s hard.
Let’s think logically. Maybe this challenge your facing is the exact thing that’s been the hindrance from you moving forward to achieving your goal. Maybe this thing that you’re so afraid to do, where you want to throw in the towel, this thing is the key for you to keep moving forward. And you’ve got a mentor now, and he’ll help you through, and once you get through this challenge, he’ll be on the other side to help you with the next step.
Don’t dig in your heels and refuse to move past the thing that is scaring you. It could be writing a blog post. It could be sharing it on your Facebook. It could be letting people in your life know that you’re trying another way to make money online. Maybe it’s whipping out your phone and doing a little live video.
So, say it with me, “I will trust my mentor. I will trust the process. I will push past my fear.”
Conclusion
I hope this post was helpful. As I said, this is my story, this is currently where I am. I’m working with my mentor, and I’ve been seeing how I am sabotaging myself. (I’m not sabotaging him in all honesty – this is really only hurting me.) If you’d like to read more about what I’m learning – about affiliate marketing, making money online, creating my own digital products, my own thinking, and growth – please join me on my blog at www.krisleebiz.com.
This is a guest post from Kris Lee, if you would like to be considered for a guest post please contact me.
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That’s a difficult one John and Kris. I feel I’m sabotaging my Mentor at present because John is not getting my input to his Ambassador program. However, this is currently unavoidable and isn’t an intentional avoidance of John’s teaching. I’m not disagreeing with his program, his ethics or his marketing style – I joined when I suddenly had the funds through a surprise small pension Pay Out but it was really at the wrong time for me to adjust everything else in my life to start the necessary work. I’m digging in though and will be there soon, if late!
I have been on many calls, webinars, discussion workshops and get-togethers in my 15 year wander through what was my Hobby – IM and MMOL – and have come across many people that I had previously looked up to who I then quickly decided were NOT the ones to Mentor me.
I won’t mention them by name here, and two of them at least have been (and still are) quite big names in the industry, but for them the issue is all about the final Buck in their pocket and in only a short time this became totally apparent despite all their protestations about care of the customer and providing Help.
So I would agree to spending time carefully in deciding who you will follow, and look carefully at their coaching style. One other Marketer that I have known pretty well for nearly 10 years now is also just not the trainer for me because his teaching style does not fit my needs. I still respect him because he is a genuine helper by nature but I have tried his coaching style and it doesn’t fit for me..
Now, once you have chosen and joined a Mentor it is pointless and self-destroying to battle against what he/she is teaching.
You then have two choices:
1. Follow the training, ask questions by all means, but don’t butt heads with your mentor.
They are happy their system produces what they have promised if you work their way.
2. The other option is to Cut your Losses and leave. This way both sides can maintain their dignity, no more time and effort is wasted on either side, and you can go away and adapt whatever you have gained to the style of learning that you need – LESSON LEARNED, albeit the hard way.
PS: See you in the program as soon as I can make it!
That is a great response John